Sue Das is a Certified Positive Intelligence coach and a Certified Co-Active Coach who coaches people who are too hard on themselves and want to learn to live with more self-compassion and courage.
She and Charlie discuss one of the saboteurs – the “STICKLER” – what it is, how it affects you, and what you can do to turn down its volume.
The Stickler is known for seeking perfection and displays a need for order and organization. But those needs are taken too far. The Stickler takes some great strengths and turns them into disadvantages for self and others. Here are some of the characteristics of someone whose Stickler might be active:
Punctual, methodical, perfectionist.
Can be irritable, tense, opinionated, sarcastic.
Highly critical of self and others.
Strong need for self-control and self-restraint.
Works overtime to make up for others’ sloppiness and laziness.
Is highly sensitive to criticism.
Like the other saboteurs, the STICKLER resides in your LEFT BRAIN and has a loud voice that generally drowns out your wiser self.
Debbi McCullough and Charlie Jett are certified Positive Intelligence Coaches who discuss the “Saboteurs” identified in Positive Intelligence.
Saboteurs are a universal phenomenon. Unless you tackle and weaken your own internal enemies – we call them “Saboteurs” – they will do their best to rob you of any improvements you make.
These are the voices that – through the Positive Intelligence System – you need to turn down the volume so you can hear the voices of your wiser inner-self. Understand that you cannot silence them or get rid of them. They are built into your left brain. But you CAN diminish their effects.
The question is not whether you have saboteurs, but which ones you have, and how strong they are. They are universal-spanning cultures, genders, and age groups-because they are connected to the functions of the brain that have focused on survival.
So – here they are.
The Judge is the Master Saboteur, the one everyone suffers from. It compels you to constantly find faults with yourself, others, and your conditions and circumstances. It does so under the pretense of being rational and reasonable and trying to be helpful.
The Avoider focuses on the positive and the pleasant in an extreme way. It avoids difficult and unpleasant tasks and conflicts.
The Controller runs an anxiety-based need to take charge, control situations, and bends people’s actions to one’s own will. It generates high anxiety and impatience when that is not possible.
The Hyper-Achiever makes you dependent on constant performance and achievement for self-respect and self-validation. It keeps you focused mainly on external success rather than on internal criteria for happiness.
The Hyper-Rational involves an intense and exclusive focus on the rational processing of everything, including relationships. It causes you to be impatient with people’s emotions and regards emotions as unworthy of much time or consideration.
The Hyper-Vigilant makes you feel intense and continuous anxiety about all the dangers surrounding you and what could go wrong. It is constantly vigilant and can never rest.
The Pleaser compels you to try and gain acceptance and affection by helping, pleasing, rescuing, or flattering others constantly. It causes you to lose sight of your own needs and become resentful of others as a result.
The Restless is constantly in search of greater excitement in the next activity or through personal busyness. It doesn’t allow you to feel much peace or contentment with your current activity.
The Stickler is the need for perfection, order, and organization taken too far. It makes you and others around you anxious and uptight.
The Victim wants you to feel emotional and temperamental as a way of gaining attention and affection. It results in an extreme focus on internal feelings, particularly painful ones, and can often result in a martyr streak
Debbie McCullough and Charlie Jett are certified Positive Intelligence Coaches who discuss the PQ concept and all elements of the PQ System.
The concept of mental fitness and positive intelligence is the brainchild of Shirzad Charmine and is documented in his book, Positive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential and How You Can Achieve Yours
Specifically, the Positive Intelligence (PQ) or Mental Fitness concept is as follows:
Your left brain:
Your negative emotions are heightened by an over-active left brain.
The over-active left brain is ruled by what PQ calls, your “saboteurs”
Some of these saboteurs were born with you – they are inherent.
Others were developed as a way to survive as you grew up
These saboteurs often hijack your thoughts and lead you down the wrong paths
Your right brain is:
Where your positive emotions and your “wiser self” reside, or
In PQ terms, where your “sage” lives.
The net result is:
Your wiser self or your right brain is often drowned out by the power of your over-active left brain saboteurs
The power of the Positive Intelligence system can turn down the volume of your saboteurs and increase the volume of your sage.
Application of the PQ System has beneficial results – and it’s ALL ABOUT RESULTS!